These Things Were Holding Me Back

As my day comes to a close I MUST blog about how I have come so far in my weight loss journey. My mind began to remember ALL of the things that my body craved and how BAD those things were for me. Now please believe just like any addiction, food addiction is real and serious.

Vintage Before Pic -Don't Judge

I never believed that I could be addicted to anything other than shopping but it wasn't until I lost my grandparents in the span of three months did I realize I had a problem. Cravings such as late night binges of fried chicken, chips, soda and TONS of candy were nothing for me to tackle during the hards times. 

The ever present "Eat everything on your Plate" speech that I received from my mom actually started the process of eating wrong, I soon realized it wasn't her fault at all. I can clearly remember the "weekend meals" aka Friday night fast food meals were EVER PRESENT in my weekly regimen. I mean, who doesn't like the popular McDonald's menus with the world famous french fries and super size of fries to munch on while watching your favorite television show?

I clearly remember living on my own for the first time in my life at the age of 19, my family never knew that I would binge on one of my favorite spots "Popeyes Chicken". Can we all just agree that the chicken WAS THE BOMB. What began as a once a week habit of a 3 piece spicy with fries and a drink eventually led to at least 4 times a week habit. 

Still I had no idea I was in jeopardy of being unfit, of course I wasn't working out and before long, my clothes became uncomfortable to wear, thus causing me to continue the self hate tactic of eating bad. My mom would call and tell me off about these habits BUT I continued thinking, "Listen lady, I got this".  - I was SO Wrong. 

Slow weight gain

Let's not forget the homemade meals that consisted of loads of butter. I made and ate cakes, cookies, pies, fried foods and much more. Everything came to a head one day as I went to the mall to try on some nice threads and the assistant informed me I needed a size 50 - 52 in a suit. I WAS FLOORED.

I began to accept that I was fat and out of shape, no matter what I saw when I stuffed myself in clothes that tricked me, I was over weight. I couldn't breath, my pants were tight, my shirts went up another 2 sizes and my body ached. My legs hurt, headaches continued and my self esteem suffered yet I continued the self denial road of whatever.

Hiding The Weight Gain

I treated it like the addiction it was and cut out the unhealthy things that kept me down. Now don't get me wrong, I have my moments of struggle, I still love the ever present gift to the world of candy - Gummy Worms ! 

I cut the butter, breads and processed meats completely out of my diet, baked my foods, ALWAYS added green veggies and now when I emotionally eat, I pig out on vegetables and fruits. Kale became my friend and I changed my mindset and when I am stressed completely out? I hit the gym or the park or the bike trail. I also had to change my friends - Another Blog topic for another day - Im Just Saying.

Hiding the Weight with Black 

Down in the pounds 

I challenge all who read this to accept that food addiction is real and it is truly an addiction which can paralyze you with fear. You have to treat your mind to change and cut out and throw away all things which might trigger a bad habit. 

I am gearing up for my morning walk/run or jog and please excuse my workout picture, I had on ugly workout gear. 

Wish Me Luck!!! 

Darian